Okay here is the story I promised

This is quite grown-up and weird so please keep an open mind. Younger readers may freak out. You have been warned. Also go easy on me because this is my first time writing (since i'm always critisizing your stories) feel free to offer CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM in the comments. all right, here goes nothing:

The Box (or Don't leave me alone in the dark)

 It all started with a box.

 It belonged to my grandmother who had passed from this world into the next. I was there when my mother came home from the hospital, her eyes red and sore from all her crying. I was there by my mother, dressed in black, as my grandmother’s coffin met the dark earth and the first few grains of dirt fell onto it. I was there when my mother returned from the will reading, a white envelope in one of her hands. And in the other, was 

the box.

 It was much to look at, intricately made. It was made of dark wood, smoothed down and coated with a deep brown varnish. There was gold trimming on the edges and a flower decoration made of glass, nothing too fancy, yet every bit as beautiful. My mother looked mournful as she handed it and the letter over to me, then she walked off to yell about her inheritance at my father. I stared at it for a few seconds, wondering if it really was for me, if my mother had really placed this wonderful thing in my hands, or if I was just dreaming. I 

decided to open the letter. Inside it read:

My dear Elizabeth,

If you are reading this I have already departed this world, so I have left you my jewellery box. Be warned my girl, it has a very powerful curse on it. The box itself is harmless, and will be quite a lovely decoration for your dressing table. But, the…THING inside the box is powerful, and very dangerous. I have already fallen victim, to its charms, and now it comes for me. If you value your life and your sanity do not open the box. It will wreak havoc on both.

I looked at the box. Clearly something so magical could not contain something so dark and sinister that drove my beloved grandmother to her grave. My fingers caressed the lid, playing over the glassy petals on the flower. Suddenly there was a crash and my father cursed. I picked up the box and retreated into my room, my heart pounding.

My room welcomed me with the familiarity of an old friend. Its childish theme comforted me in times like these. I placed the box gently on my dresser, sat down on the stool and sobbed my frustrations out. After a while, a gentle voice spoke to me. “Elisabeth…” it sang out. “Open me Elisabeth. I can make your dreams come true…” It was tempting, but I remembered my grandmother’s warning. At that moment, my phone rang. It was Laura, my best friend.

“ Liz! Wonderful news!” My cheery friend’s voice rang out. “Simon asked me to the dance with him!”

She cried excitedly. My world stopped. Simon was the boy I had a crush on, and Laura knew that. She had betrayed me again.

“That’s…great. I have to go now.” I answered, feeling numb.

“Oh Liz! I am sorry! I know you like him but he did ask me…and he is cute. Liz? Li-“

Her voice cut off as I pressed end call and slumped against my desk. Why me? Why did I never get anything good? Why was it always Laura, with her perfect looks and perfect family, perfect grades, perfect EVERYTHING! Why was I left with NOTHING? But I had one thing she didn’t. I had the box.

My fingers hovered over the lid. I knew my grandmother had warned me against it but I couldn’t help the urge. I couldn’t help the need to open it. Yet I still couldn’t bring myself to flip the lid.

“

go on…” The voice teased. “you can do it. Or are you scared?”

 That made me angry. I grabbed the lid and flipped it open with all my might, sending it crashing across the room. I walked over to where the box laid and picked it up. It was empty.

Feeling defeated, I sat back on my stool. Suddenly, a face appeared in my mirror. It was of a girl. She was very beautiful, with ebony hair flowing around her shoulders and crimson lips stretched into a parted smile, revealing her crisp white teeth. The only problem was her eyes; they were dark, like a sharks, empty and soulless. I should have been afraid, but I wasn’t.

“You wish for more. I can give it to you.” Her voice was enchanting, lyrical and soft, almost hypnotic.

“Yes. I want more.” I answered without thinking.

“What is your wish?”

 That was a good question. What was my wish? “I want to go to the dance with Simon. I want to be the most beautiful girl there.” I said, voicing my desires without realising it.

“Of course. I will help you fulfil your wish.”

The girl in the mirror grinned one last time and disappeared. I suddenly felt very tired. I fell into my bed and my dreams were haunted by sharks and blood red lips.

When I went to school the following morning, Laura was parading around on Simon’s arm like she owned the world. As I walked over to say hi I noticed Laura discreetly making a “no” sign at me. Who did she think she was? I stormed off into the bathroom. At once, the woman appeared in the mirror. “What do you wish?” she said.

 “I wish Laura would embarrass herself.”

“Run the tap.”

 I did as she asked and smiled at the woman and she smiled back. I say smiled, it was more like a Cheshire cat’s grin. I walked out of the bathroom to find a crowd of people surrounding Laura and laughing. Her skirt was stained with a wet patch and there was a puddle all around her. She was crying. That felt good, taking her down a peg.

Over the next few days I inflicted a series of embarrassments on Laura. Small things like making her fall and tear something (that entertained the boys) or bouts of sudden acne which ruined her perfect looks. Small things that made her cry and made me feel better about myself.

 Until that night.

The woman appeared in my mirror, but her smile was not there. Her normal nice guise was replaced with a more cold and calculating stranger. “This will not do.” She said, looking straight at me. “Petty embarrassments will not get him to go with you. You need to take her out completely.” Her eyes burned holes into me. “You mean-kill her?” I asked, clearly showing shock. The woman’s smile returned, but now it was a nasty smirk.

“Of course I mean kill her. She’s ruined everything for you. Do it. Finish her off now and it will be happily ever after for you and that boy. I promise you. ”

Her voice was cruel, but I could see the logic. I knew what I needed to do. I picked up my phone and dialled Laura’s number.

The school was dark. It was a perfect place to finish this. The knife felt heavy in my hand. Could I really do this? Could I kill my best friend? My thoughts were interrupted by footsteps behind me. They echoed across the gym. Tomorrow night this place would be filled with people having a good time. But tonight, it would be filled with screams. “Are you okay Liz?” Laura’s voice asked. I turned to look at her. The last bout of acne was just leaving her face. She smiled at me, and that smile faltered when she saw the knife. Her cocoa-brown eyes widened. “Liz, what are you doing with that?” her voice was barley a whisper.

 “I’m really sorry Laura, but your in the way of my happy ending”

 “Liz. Please. Don’t do this.” Her eyes filled with tears that spilled down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.” As the words left my mouth, I closed my eyes and struck.

Screams filled the dark.

Once she was dead at my feet I slumped to the floor and sobbed. I dragged her body into a cupboard and ran out of the building, ashamed at what I had done. And, in the darkness, I swear I saw the woman from the mirror, smiling and watching me with her dead eyes.

The next night was the night of the dance. I had chosen a slimming black dress with gold trim, almost like the box itself. It looked a lot better than the red dress I had seen before. The gym was done up beautifully, with streamers and balloons. The DJ was really good, playing only the best songs and the buffet was filled with proper party food, not those rubbish things-on-sticks that you get at kids parties. I had brought the knife I killed Laura with just in case I had any competition, but it didn’t look like it. I was, undoubtedly, the most beautiful girl there. And Simon had noticed. He walked over to me with a shy smile. “Hey” he said softly. “Hi” I squeaked, trying not to show nerves. “Do you want to dance, since Laura stood me up?”

 “Sure.” I smiled.

We stepped onto the dance floor. That moment was perfect. Us, together. The room spinning as we twirled. His hands on my waist, mine around his neck. Our faces close, our lips almost touching. It was utter perfection, Until he leaned into my hair and whispered

“You smell just like Laura. I wonder if she’s going to show up”

Anger flared inside of me. He never cared about me, and he never would. He wanted Laura, the dead girl stuffed inside a cupboard. Tears burned in my eyes as I pushed away from Simon.

“I have to go” I said, trying not to hiccup in-between words.

“oh” he replied, looking vaguely puzzled. “see you.”

I quickly ran from the room, trying to hide my sobs. I rushed into the bathroom to find the woman in the mirror waiting for me. I had never seen her look so vicious. Her eyes were colder than usual, her teeth stretched into what passed as a smile. She was anticipating something big, I could tell that.

“What do you wish?” she said in an excited whisper.

I paused.

What did I wish? This woman was obviously bad. She had gotten me to slaughter my best friend. Told me that she was in the way, that she would ruin my dreams. But she wasn’t in the way. Lauren was the only person I had. The only one who had stood by me all these years, and I killed her. But maybe…just maybe…

“I wish for everything to go back to normal. Back before you came along”

The woman’s smile vanished. It was replaced with an almost sad look.

“Oh Elizabeth, you disappoint me so. I would have thought you of all people would have known what you were doing was irreversible. If I had made it happen with my own power, then it could have been undone. But you killed your friend with your own hand. I merely whispered the instructions in your ear. You can’t bring back the dead.”

All my hopes shattered. I felt myself sinking to my knees, tears streaming down my cheeks.

The woman began to speak again.

“Luckily for you, I cannot fulfil your last wish. So you escape my curse. If I had granted it, you would have taken my place, granting wishes that cause suffering and sadness. But you would have enjoyed it. It would have been better than this shell of a life I have left for you. But I give you a choice now. You can take my place, and I will take yours. I will suffer this life for you.”

The box appeared in her hands. She held it out to me, her hands coming through the glass.

“What do you say?”

I just looked at her. Looked at the woman in the mirror. She had been like me once. A sad, lonely girl who had opened a forbidden box against someone’s wishes and become trapped. She had caused so much sadness, but she loved it. She wasn’t good anymore. Then I remembered.I knew what I had to do.

I took the box out of her outstretched hands, and stroked the lid slowly. The woman smiled.

“Tell me, what were you like before this?”

The woman looked puzzled again. Then she started to think

“hmm….I was called Lillian. I lived in a big house. My mother wore pretty dresses. She was so pretty. And I had a sister…”

Tears had begun to fill her eyes, she wiped them away, sniffling.

“I loved my sister. But the box made me hate her, made me kill her. I loved her more than anything. I bet she hates me now, hates what I’ve become.”

She looked up at me and I gasped. Her eyes were no longer cold and shark like, they were the colour of hazelnuts, warm and inviting and full of tears.

“I don’t want to be this anymore.” She whispered

I closed my eyes, raised my arms above my head and brought the box crashing into the mirror with all my might. The wood in my hands splintered and cracked, and the mirror shattered into thousands of pieces. I brought my arms up again and sent them crashing down, ignoring the pain in my hands as the broken glass dug into my skin.

A

s I broke the mirror, I shattered the remains of my mind. A voice whispered “thank you” and dissolved into nothing. I stood up, unsure of where I was. But I knew one thing. Laura was calling me, telling me to come find her. Like in our old hide and seek games. If I found her I would win. So I had to find her.

I stumbled out onto the dance floor, ignoring the startled cries of my school friends, trudging slowly forward, to the cupboard where I had left my best friend to rot. Tears streamed down my face as I pulled it open and caught the cold lump that tumbled out.

Laura was just as perfect as when I left her. Her blonde hair was a little tangled, some dried blood on her t-shirt but otherwise okay. Yes, she was okay, I was okay, she was going to wake up soon. Who was screaming? Why did they keep screaming like that? It was loud, I wanted them to stop. I wanted Laura to wake up. People were crowding around me now, faces I didn’t know. Who were these people? They were dressed all in white, trying to take Laura away from me. No! I wouldn’t let them! I would keep holding onto her. There was a sharp pain in my arm, then everything went black.

When I woke up, I was in a new place. It was a white room filled with people in white. I didn’t like it all. The screaming started again. It’s so noisy. It doesn’t stop. Wait? Was that Laura?

Laura?

LAURA!

AWNSER ME!

Where am I?

Ow! That hurt!

Who are you people?

Laura? Where did you go?

Laura…I know your hiding from me Laura. I know this is a game

Mum? Is that you?

Mummy help me!

Mummy?

More needles in my arms. The days pass in drug induced blurs. I’m not sure what is real anymore. All I know is that the doctors are worried. They keep saying that I’ve gone cationic. I’m not sure what that means. All I know is that I can’t move anymore. I’m frozen in ice. At least the box is gone. At least Lillian gets to be happy. Is it nice in heaven Lillian? Is your sister there? Does she forgive you?

Lillian?

Lil-ly-anne?

Lilly? Don’t leave me alone in the dark. 

How was it? rubbish right. Please be gentle with my feelings. I spent alot of time on this :'( 

3-5 hours to be exact :) it is only a second draft really, my first ending was too cheesy so i switched with one that was slightly more creepy.

IF YOU ARE FREAKING OUT REMEMBER I WARNED YOU AT THE TOP!
btw i find you copying this story, i will NOT be happy >.<